{"id":2199,"date":"2011-08-28T20:00:29","date_gmt":"2011-08-29T00:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/?p=2199"},"modified":"2013-11-03T10:29:58","modified_gmt":"2013-11-03T15:29:58","slug":"up-and-ever-onward-my-wifes-battle-with-cancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/2011\/08\/28\/up-and-ever-onward-my-wifes-battle-with-cancer\/","title":{"rendered":"Up and ever onward: My wife’s battle with cancer."},"content":{"rendered":"

I have often said: “Life has a way of getting in the way of itself.<\/em>”\u00a0 I had been implying that life plans don’t necessarily work out due to the vagaries of life itself.\u00a0 In my wife’s case, a more literal interpretation is fitting.\u00a0 A DNA replication error set in place a rapid cell duplication process resulting in invasive ductal carcinoma.\u00a0 Her breast cancer, this life gone amok, has taken center stage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Talk about a game changer – this changes everything.\u00a0 In my role as a psychologist I long ago became acutely aware of just how wrong things can go in life, and these professional experiences solidified in me the importance of appreciating the things that go well.\u00a0 It has also instilled in me the knowledge that absolutely nothing is permanent.\u00a0 But this cancer diagnosis has taken this enlightenment to a whole new level.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Thomas Hobbes once noted, “… the life of man, [is] solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short<\/em>.”\u00a0 Historically, this has been true for many of our ancestors, and it remains true for many today.\u00a0 Such is not the case for many of us who have been fortunate to be born into a time and place where survival is not an everyday struggle.\u00a0 But when facing a diagnosis of cancer,\u00a0 Hobbes’ perspective seems particularly cogent.\u00a0 I can only imagine how true this perspective must be for Kimberly.\u00a0 Although her family surrounds her with love and support, only she<\/strong> alone<\/strong><\/em>, faces the scaring scalpel and the life sucking chemotherapy.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the vast configuration of things, we all know that she is not alone.\u00a0 Many people go through this, but none of those near and dear to her, know what she endures and fears.\u00a0 Life for her has temporarily, and most certainly, become at times, nasty<\/strong><\/em> and brutish<\/strong><\/em>.\u00a0 There is an ebb and flow to this process, but the difficult times rob her of the many activities that filled her with zest.\u00a0 Even at relatively good times, her quality of life is a poor<\/strong><\/em> reflection of what it had been. Often food is less tasty, if desirable at all.\u00a0 Restful sustained sleep is hard to come by and endurance and fortitude seem to be a thing of the past: as is her gorgeous full head of hair.\u00a0 It’s one thing to be a man and gradually lose one’s hair over a period of decades (I know it well).\u00a0 It’s quite another to be a woman and leave a trail of hair where ever you go.\u00a0 And really feeling good – it’s an occasional visitor that does not stick around long.\u00a0 I know this is torturous for her.\u00a0 It breaks my heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

On the plus side, there is the reality that this life-run-amok<\/em> has changed perspectives and brought our family closer together.\u00a0 From my point of view, it has brought into focus what really matters in life.\u00a0 It has freed us from the banal fruitless issues du jour.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But underneath this greater closeness is a universal fear.\u00a0 We all share it, but I am certain that it resonates deeper in Kimberly’s mind.\u00a0 The fear is: “What if this isn’t over?<\/em>”\u00a0 We have no certain answers, but the statistics are on her side.\u00a0 Long term survival is the norm.\u00a0 This is one form of cancer that science and medicine has effectively constrained.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Her chemo is a preventative measure, not one aimed at eking out a few months or years.\u00a0 With this in mind, I try to frame this phase of treatment within the context of a physical challenge.\u00a0 One of our favorite activities is riding our tandem bicycle.\u00a0 We don’t just get on a clunky unwieldy tandem and leisurely putz around town.\u00a0 We ride a high tech machine and we ride it hard and fast.\u00a0 A typical ride covers 20 to 30 miles and often involves ascending some of the biggest hills in our area.\u00a0 These climbs are often long and brutal – requiring a special focus and tenacity.\u00a0 The reward however, is the effortless descent that is sweeter for the effort that made it possible.\u00a0 Over the next few months we will be climbing a new and even more difficult hill – struggling as we go.\u00a0 We shall strive to endure it for the rewards on the other side.\u00a0 We will make it.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And once we reach the top, it is my sincerest hope that all of us who have fought this battle with Kimberly will make the best of the rest of the ride. \u00a0 Life, with or without cancer,\u00a0 is short and exceptionally precious.\u00a0 This experience has certainly and deservedly taken center stage, but it has also put a spotlight on what is truly meaningful.\u00a0 The other stuff is just clutter.\u00a0 Meanwhile, the slow arduous slog continues – and we endeavor upward with anticipation of the sweet descent.\u00a0 All the while we take solace in the warm glow of love that sustains us and powers us up and ever onward.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have often said: “Life has a way of getting in the way of itself.”\u00a0 I had been implying that life plans don’t necessarily work out due to the vagaries of life itself.\u00a0 In my wife’s case, a more literal interpretation is fitting.\u00a0 A DNA replication error set in place a rapid cell duplication process … <\/p>\n

Read more “Up and ever onward: My wife’s battle with cancer.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[73,32],"tags":[10],"class_list":["post-2199","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cancer","category-life-and-time","tag-thoughts-about-time"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3mcUm-zt","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2199","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2199"}],"version-history":[{"count":27,"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2199\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3241,"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2199\/revisions\/3241"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2199"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2199"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/geraldguild.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2199"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}